Thursday, June 10, 2010

It's a Simple Philosophy

It occurs to me that anyone whose take on life is a "simple philosophy" is not very engaged in philosophy and, while they are probably not simple, have succeeded in deluding themselves by this simple phrase.

You cannot have a "simple philosophy" because philosophy is not simple. Why are philosophers so difficult to read? Not to mention that their works are typically tomes and each tome ties to the next so that to grasp the entirety of one Thinker every single work must be read. It would probably behoove one to read said Thinker's personal letters and journals as well.

This is because philosophy must be stacked on top of itself. Each little piece must have a premise that no one can dispute is the basis and build up from there. Not only is it difficult to find that beginning premise but the constructions that are then laid on that base must be aligned perfectly to it else your philosophy begins to tilt to one side or seem to have pieces missing like a mental game of Jenga.

Now if the venue is appropriate, feel free to call out our simple friend on his/her philosophy. If you know me, you'll understand that almost any venue is appropriate. Make sure that s/he can really back up this claim to simplicity. This is, of course, impossible and will become evident very quickly. Then just point out this fact and proceed to allow him/her to build that Jenga tower.

Be gentle. But firm. We have no time for slackers. Make everyone think.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Wednesday's Sexy Word of the Week

To dispense with pleasantries is beyond me: Good day, friends and lovers.


To start a word with M is to use the right foot and slowly lower it heel to toe, feeling the pressure of the earth begin to push back. Now that we're firmly grounded we can ease into that sweet E which is somewhere between the perfect long E and the perfect short E. Just repeat MEH, leaving your mouth open in a slight smile and squinting your eyes just a bit. We like this T that is so well placed as to allow us to stress that O so well. It's like saying the word 'ton' but with a slight irish accent. "Aye, I've got a ton of it!" Then drop that N like it's hot and pronounce that first Y quickly, with very little emphasis. It's like an exclamation of I-don't-know-what. We move fast because we're anxious to get back to an M. Our lips come together and tickle as if making a yummy sound. Lastly, that Y with the long E sound is the happy ending we desired but didn't want to rush because we liked all the letters and sounds leading up to it. Hold...and...release!

--noun. rhetoric. a figure of speech in which one word is put for another, as when we say, "We read Virgil", meaning his poetry.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Sunday Zen

One day's exposure to mountains is better than cartloads of books. --John Muir

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Wednesday's Sexy Word of the Week

Hello, my lovelies. Has everyone broken out their white shoes? It's time to make sure there's plenty of shade in your chosen hang out spot. Speaking of shadows:


Now I'm not going to argue that this is the most attractive looking word out there. I'll grant that the U and G both tend to detract from the visual aesthetic. But let's say it out loud and see if it redeems itself. We could do the first syllable like a verbal pause,"ummm," but I'd rather us use a long U. OOOmm...Now your lips are all puckered, aren't they? And the B should be kind of soft, just a transition from the M to the R. And the R is relatively quick. I know you like to roll 'em but we're going to let this one slide. On to the long A, which falls in the stressed syllable, so it should hit hard and strong(hehe). The G is soft and should be treated with the front teeth completely together. It should almost be pulled from the front of the mouth to the back. On the way back, though, don't forget the E. That's right, pronounce it. Long-wise. The last little bit should look phonetically like you "JE-YUS" got home a minute ago. That's right, jump to the U from the E then throw that sweet little S on the end. Nice and soft. That's the way you should always finish. Savvy?

Now what does this word mean. Well, I gave you a hint.

--adj. 1. creating or providing shade; shady
2. apt to take offense

I'm pretty sure that you should able to go out into the world and find very appropriate moments to pull these words out, wowing the crowd with your copious vocabulary. Go, my darlings, be sexy and smart.