You know that vision in the back of your brain that seems wonderful but couldn't have been real, there's a dream that you remember so clearly you must have been awake. She held you tightly on top of a mountain and you can still remember the smell of her hair, some sort of faint perfume, soft and flowery with a little grapefruit but also the hint of sweat, heat coming off her freshly exercised body. But did it really happen...
Paramnesia
n.-- a distortion of memory in which fact and fantasy are confused.
Looking back, it's hard to separate them, the dream and the anticipation from what actually conspired. And then I wonder, does it really even matter? Does she remember the same mixture of desire and destiny? Perhaps none of it occurred. Nothing really matters now that it's over, right? Might as well have been a complete fabrication. She never showed up and you never talked to her. But the imagination has a way of making things lovely nonetheless.
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