Wednesday's Sexy Word of the Week

You know that vision in the back of your brain that seems wonderful but couldn't have been real, there's a dream that you remember so clearly you must have been awake. She held you tightly on top of a mountain and you can still remember the smell of her hair, some sort of faint perfume, soft and flowery with a little grapefruit but also the hint of sweat, heat coming off her freshly exercised body. But did it really happen...

Paramnesia

n.-- a distortion of memory in which fact and fantasy are confused. 



Looking back, it's hard to separate them, the dream and the anticipation from what actually conspired. And then I wonder, does it really even matter? Does she remember the same mixture of desire and destiny? Perhaps none of it occurred. Nothing really matters now that it's over, right? Might as well have been a complete fabrication. She never showed up and you never talked to her. But the imagination has a way of making things lovely nonetheless.

Wednesday's Sexy Word of the Week

*Sigh* It's Wednesday again and everyone is shouting from their beds "What's the word?! What's the word?! What's today's sexy word?!"

Calma, ragazzi. <--Not the word. But rather sexy, no?

No, I think today's word will be...........

Absolution

I understand that many of you may say that this word's connotation keeps you from seeing it as sexy but slow down. Pronounce it sllllooooooowwwwwwly.

Works, doesn't it? Just make sure that you make the A sound somewhere in between the short ă and the dull schwa. (yes, i just called the schwa dull. get over it.)

Let me take your preconceived notions for a moment, thank you, and fling them out the window. Wonderful. We will now take a closer look at the definition of this word:

1. act of absolving; a freeing from blame or guilt; release from consequences, obligations, or penalties.
2. state of being absolved.

One does not have to be particularly religious to use words that have been mainly associated with religions. I think the act of absolution is a fantastic behaviour to have in your repertoire, both getting absolved and doing the absolving. See, to me there is a greater power in absolution than forgiveness. Forgiveness is more like "Yeah, you fucked up big time. I acknowledge that fact and since you've apologized, I now forgive you." Whereas absolution says "You messed up? I didn't notice. Kiss me."

Sorry, I'm a big Muse fan.

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Tiptoe to your room
A starlight in the gloom
I only dream of you
And you never knew

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
And falling from your grace

There's no where left to hide
In no one to confide
The truth burns deep inside
And will never die

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
And falling from your grace
Sing for absolution
I will be singing
And falling from your grace

Our wrongs
Remain unrectified
And our souls
Won't be exhumed

This Is Just to Say

Hotly debated and fiercely defended is the concept of love.

It is maligned and revered all at the same time.

Why are we so caught up by it?

It makes our fingers tingle and our legs ache.

Sometimes we can't eat or sleep.

We cry when it ends and we cry when we realize it's so so good.

Poets find it fascinating and cannot leave it alone.

It seems that everyone longs for it though few ever find it.

"I'm in love."

"I hate love."

"I believe in love though I fear its consequences."

"You're crazy!"

I just wanted to say a little bit this morning about the fact that love is one of the more controversial factors of life. Who, where, when, why and how all apply. And we are rarely able to put any of these into words. To be sure, we all love being loved and sometimes it's the only reason we end up loving the other. The BSHB/G says I'm in love with falling in love. And sometimes I think that's true. But not just love. I am in love with lots of things. It's just that love is a more dangerous one. It breaks your heart. There's a Drive-By Truckers song that says "The very nature of love is to grieve when it's over." And it will end. Maybe it won't end until you die, but it will. We know this much about it. Does that mean we should avoid it?

How about approaching love like any other hedonistic experience? Embrace the beauty while it's there. Enjoy that rush in the pulse and the flutter in the belly. Do it right. Passionately. Take it in. All of it. Then, when it's over, cry a little, smile at what you had, hope for its encore, smoke a cigarette, write a poem, take a walk and get ready to do it all over again.

Love is not to be avoided. Just do it knowing that it is as fleeting as the winter cold and the summer heat: certain to fade and sure to return.

Dear Reader

I feel accountable to you. And I've let you down. I'm sorry. I'll admit that I get all kinds of ideas for posts when I'm driving but then I get home and sit down at the machine and lose everything that was rattling 'round in my head. So let's be completely random for just a moment:

For some people, the words that they already have a quite enough. They get the things done they need to do for the day. They can buy their beer and Ramen noodles, pay their bills, and watch TV. But for others, myself and most of my friends, we need new words. And I'm not really sure how we're going to accomplish expressing ourselves without reworking our lexicons. I have an idea that if we learned a few new languages we could somehow find 'le mot juste' within one of those. While I'm sure that onlookers will view us with contempt as we switch back and forth between languages, my ultimate goal is that we move our society along in a more meaningful direction. So fuck 'em. (How's that for common everyday words?)

My Beautiful Secret Holding Bird/Girlfriend said that we need a new word for saying "I love you. I'm sorry. Thank you." because those words have become overused and therefore almost meaningless. So I set to work. We're currently trying to get the word 'louethia' into circulation. Now I didn't do any etymological research. I didn't try to be all scientific about that shit. So this word may not stick but we're trying it. The wonderful thing about this word is that it is certain not to get overused just yet (since we just made it up!) because it shouldn't be. It's usage is for very specific occasions. When it is used, there should be weight and purpose.




Along similar lines, may we talk about what love actually is? We throw this silly word around so much and I have really become aware of its usage as a way to circumnavigate an actual apology: "Oh, you know I love you." To which I reply "Is that so? Well then why do you only tell me so when you've wronged me(even if it was superficial)?" I'm not saying that we should go around telling people that we love them all the time. That would get tiresome. And how! But how about we use the word when we actually mean it? When someone does something good for you or just tugs at your heartstrings with their actions, make it a positive reinforcement. People really like knowing why it is that you feel the way you do about them. "Why do you like me?" Instead of having to make a list--although those are fun and, I think, meaningful--just catch them at those beautiful moments. For instance, last night I missed out on the opportunity and I regret it. Hanging out on the porch, patio, veranda, promenade, drinking wine and smoking cigarettes(among other things ;), laughing and not really talking about anything of any particular import is sort of a dream of mine. When I am old and no longer running around trying to arrange the rest of my life, this type of thing will be why I get up from my afternoon nap.

More about love to come...