Tuesday, March 31, 2009

How much?

So on our way back from the Ryan Adams show we saw many signs indicating "Adult Stores". These were on pretty empty stretches of the interstate between places where normal people stop. I assume(carefully) that they're strategically placed for lonely truckers that need a little break in their drives. My jewish friend asked "Do you think sex is/can be transactional?"

I think that sex is transactional. And can be. However, I think I answered a different question than he asked. He was referring to a more here's-your-haircut-here's-your-money-transaction. So you pay a prostitute and she takes your money, giving you some sort of sexual favor in return. It's an agreed upon price and action/service, everyone walks away satisfied, right? I don't think so.

It seems that we've lowered the sex standard instead of elevating it. It's just entertainment.

While I agree that it is very entertaining, a fantastic pastime, I'm afraid that it should mean more than that. I think it's transactional in the way that a good conversation or a good book is. Both persons/entities gain the pleasure of enjoying the other and being enjoyed.

Perhaps if a sex worker actually goes into the job wanting to have sex and give sexual pleasure to people who long for it then s/he can walk away from the day a little wealthier and a little more fulfilled in life. But I feel that this is rarely the case. And the patrons probably don't get the same sort of fulfillment. That's why they continue to return and perhaps form a nasty spiral into addiction and more and more questionable behaviors.

We should treat sex as a beautiful part of life. We should allow the intimacy of being *gasp* naked with another person to enhance our aesthetic natures. Don't think of it as sustenance. Think of it as a luxury. Bread is necessary for survival. Good bread is beautiful and fulfilling. We do have an urge within us to mate. But we rarely have propagation sex. It's usually for pleasure. Which is fine. But let's rise above that evolutionary drive, the Freudian desire. We can continue to evolve and look at sex from a higher consciousness, while being aware of our most basic instincts and not allowing them to be the drving forces within us. Knowledge and education now become important. Instead of telling us not to have sex and making us sign some stupid fucking promise, they should have told us why we feel like having sex, how to be careful, and when it's most appropriate. There may not be so many "backseat babies" this way. Let's make it okay to have sex. But make it okay to be okay with it. No one forcing or begging or chasing or paying.
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